The Cary House

460 Franklin St, Buffalo, Ny

Our Story

In 2018, Rebecca wrote for the Ignite Buffalo Grant through 43 North and, out of over 800 applicants, made the final cut with her proposal based on the work she was doing at Village, a collaborative space that integrated birthwork alongside her massage and yoga practices. From there it was a whirlwind of next rounds/ deeply honed proposals that demanded more tech savvy than she had and it was here where the real magic began to unfold. Pauline’s analytical, detail oriented skills got to work and it became apparent very quickly that a merger of these two energies & approaches was something very special. Together, they crystalized the vision and won the grant.

As a team, they are very much the embodiment of the Yin/Yang; the Taoist philosophy of balance and harmony between two opposing but complimentary forces that are interconnected in a constant state of dynamic flow and transformation. Over time, as their own lives shift and change and children grow, so has the vision and practice; expanding further into the space of menopause, education and mentorship. Working as a team means being able to support not just the families in this community but expanding the team to encompass other practitioners in a centralized space where the overlooked, undervalued non medical aspects of care around the hormonal transitions of fertility, pregnancy, childbirth and menopause coexist.

The grant became the tiny seed that has grown into what is now lovingly known as The Cary House. Located in the Historic district of Buffalo, NY, The Cary House is an 1869 Italinate building named for George Cary, a prominent architect of the Pan-Am Exposition. The two spent what felt like an eternity looking at spaces -none of which felt right- until this particular building literally called them in and, riding this invitational wave, laid the foundation for what CH is today. They rented for a year, literally pulling up old carpet and stripping layers of wallpaper, refinishing original wood floors, metaphorically peeling years of history back and breathing new life into the cozy, sundrenced home of their collective vision. One year later as they were set to take the leap into ownership, COVID shut down the banks and offices the week of closing. The intensity of maneuvering as the world shut down around them demanded big pivots and even bigger faith in what they were cultivating. Birth never stops and the rooms of Cary House became labor spaces for families to work until birth was imminent or shifted out of the medical model altogether.. The support that happened during COVID was a testament to the power of community and a return to the organic process that is so often dismissed in clinical settings. With their kids doing school in the house meeting room, childbirth education and yoga classes happening in the zoom room, clients working through labor in others, it was truly a movement back to the “Village” of us.

Our philosophy centers the value, magic and raw power of pregnancy and birth through engagement in the process itself. We focus on the non medical avenues of support and help families find their way to confidence, understanding and ownership of their experience no matter what it looks like. Through education, bodywork, labor / post partum support and community, we know this experience can be SO very different from the status quo. Our culture has normalized highly managed care around a natural, physiological process. We see through the tracking of our client outcomes that what we are doing works. We know that living pregnancy from foundations that normalize birth and the changes that happen as we grow our babies and bring them into the world helps to embody practices and awareness. We know that having the tools to implement during labor helps families to connect and do the work together, leading to more positive outcomes and experiences.

We work from a combined two decades of sitting with labor in all of the different environments, with all of the different providers, witnessing the myriad ways a labor can unfold. Labor is unique to each individual - there is so much nuance, while we cannot predict the labor you will have, or the way you will respond to it, what we can do is provide tools in order to do the work of it while understanding the system you are navigating. Knowing what is happening during the process whether it is the unfolding of a spontaneous labor, an induction or a scheduled C Section makes all of the difference. What we have found is that it is not necessarily the outcome that determines a positive, empowering experience. It is how you FEEL while you are doing the work of it, the support and comprehension and trust in your own body and its capabilities, that inform the experience. It is our wish that everyone comes through their birth experience with full ownership of their choices, having felt informed and aware throughout. Birth is something we DO, not something that happens to us, understanding this to be able to participate in your process is the difference between empowerment and trauma.

Our FouNders

Rebecca approaches this work through a philosophical, spiritual and somatic lens while Pauline is data driven and rooted in evidence based care. Together they cultivate a whole person approach through physical and mental fortitude, an understanding and cultivation of trust in the body and its process, and comprehensive education to help families navigate a model of care that does not address any of this, determined to help families feel heard, seen and participate fully in this peak human experience.

THE YIN

Rebecca spent most of her adult life traveling the world, studying in Ashrams of India, teaching English in Japan, guiding people diving in the crystal clear waters along the Caribbean coast of Central America, drinking in the wide perspective that living nomadic life outside the box offers. Her experiences culminate in the central theme of the inner architecture- the capabilities of the human body and the expansive nature of the mind. She approaches life with a sense of curiosity and flow, intrigued & delighted by the way ritual and ceremony cultivate community and is dedicated to the restoration of this throughout all of the transitional human experiences. The oldest of six, she grew up in a role of caretaking and leadership which instilled in her a strong work ethic and sense of social responsibility & collective care. The birth of her son was so powerful, so fully and intensely out of body, otherworldly incredible, that it changed the trajectory of her life and led her to this work. In 2013, she returned to Buffalo with a one year old to be closer to family at a time when there were only a handful of doulas in the community, met Pauline almost immediately (because you could count the number of doulas on both hands in 2013), slowly built a practice out of a space in Allentown known as Village, wrote for and received a 43 North Ignite Buffalo grant in 2018, with Pauline’s tech savvy assistance. It became very clear very quickly the two had an aligned vision around what they wanted to be putting out into the world. The Ignite grant was the seed that grew into Cary House, their “baby” together.

THE YANG

Pauline is a designer by day, working her magic in publication. She lends her skills to political publications in support of causes that are rooted in body autonomy and feel meaningful to her. She is the grounded, impressively even-keel mother to a blazing fire of a daughter and a passionate, dedicated doula & educator. Clear in her intention, integrity for miles, Pauline knows her way around a tool box and, as a typical type A, is extremely attentive to detail and can fix almost anything. Hers is a data driven, deeply pragmatic mind. She is a Spinning Babies Instructor and teaches with wit, humor & grace as she gushes about hospital policy. Her technical brain and structured approach take the free flow of the yin ideas and puts them into action. Originally from WNY, she returned to Buffalo after spending her formative years in DC where she started her own design firm and found her way to political activism. Her daughter was born here at home, something that was beyond her comfort level at the time but felt more aligned for her than the medical model. A lifelong athlete, she knew the capabilities of her body and trusted her ability to meet the physical demands of labor. Her journey with a midwife and a doula opened her eyes to other possibilities and approaches around birth and her data driven soul considered the statistics. The autonomy of birthing the way she wanted was the overriding factor in her decision to stay home. Within hours of her daughter’s birth there was a pizza party and champagne flowing, which is a story Rebecca loves so much because ritual and ceremony!!!

While our own personal experiences with birth were in the care of midwives and outside the walls of a hospital, we recognize the value and necessity of the medical model in high risk pregnancies, we have absolutely witnessed it saving lives. Currently over 90% of birth happens in hospitals, this is not the same as being in the medical model of care. The hospital is the environment, the model is one of management and intervention. We are here to help families understand the difference, to navigate and advocate within the medical model. We honor all bodies in all choices and believe wholeheartedly, and want you to as well, that no matter what your birth looks like, you are the power source in the room.